Bookmark: Selfish Thy Me

Why would you want to be called selfish?

Among everything that I've written, this is probably one of my all time favorites. One of the best poems I've ever written. Enjoy! :)

Selfish Thy Me 

Would it make me a selfish person If I say

I want to be the reason for your smiles everyday 

The source of your happiness I would want to be

The one to take care of you, that would be me

I would be selfish as I want to be the one

That would always support you and be your greatest fan

The person that would walk you home at night

Be the guy that would stand for you and fight

Selfish it would make me as I would like to be

The one that greets good morning everyday to thee

The guy that cooks yummy foods to fill thy tummy

The man that'll bring you to places across the sea

Even if it makes me selfish i do not care

I'd want to make you laugh, to see you sad I just can't bare

I'd do my best just to make sure that you're not sad

Will always be here for you, this one and only lad.

Rewind: Squeeze Every Last Track.

Why do you press next?

It doesn't matter if you love music or not, you probably like at least one song. If you are a music lover though, you probably like more than just a few particular songs. You probably even have a large roster of artists and bands that you listen to. And being a music lover, I'd bet you could even identify which songs belong to which albums.

Still, even some of the most avid music lovers would say that not all the songs in a artists or bands album are worth listening to. There would at least be a track or two that just feels out of place. The black sheep among all the other tracks. Those songs that you wouldn't think twice of skipping.

Personally, being a big fan of OPM bands, I can attest to this. I'd buy an album of a band, put it in the player, and listen to it. First time through the album, i'll listen to each track. It is after all the first time i'm going to listen to some, if not most, of these songs. But after some time, I grow to like some tracks better, and just get to skip the rest of the songs. It just becomes a rule of some sort, you like some, you dislike some.

But there are instances where some albums prove to be the exception to the rule. This is what I, and my brother, refer to as albums na "walang patapon". An album where each and every track just proves to be a joy to listen to, where it feels like I'm doing a disservice if I skip even just one song in that album. Or simply, we could say that this albums are just better than most.

In this entry, i'll be listing albums of OPM bands that I personally consider as "walang patapon" albums. They're not listed in any particular order though. I'm just going to list them, and not rank them as to which is better than the others. I most likely would also miss albums that some of you might think should also be included. But then again, this is a personal list, so it greatly takes into consideration my preferences. Though I would gladly love to hear from you, dear reader, what albums you also consider a "walang patapon".

The list starts after the jump!

Rewind: One Liners

Bakit ba pag wala ka na, ako'y kulang, ako'y kulang?

That is a line from the Mayonnaise song, Bakit Part 2.

This entry probably is a cheap way to create an entry, but hey, it's my blog! (insert evil laugh here) *ehem*

So here is what I'll be doing. I got my player on shuffle, and then for each song, i'll write here one line that sticks the most to me. Just the line, no title, no artist, no album title. Just-the-line. So how long is one line? eh, probably as short or long as I want it to be. But it must just be one continuous line. I can't put two lines/parts/verses of a song and pass it off as one line. And how many songs? Meh, most likely until I feel sleepy. Again, it's my blog!

Anyway, better start doing this.

"..tuloy ang bida sa isipan ko'y ikaw."

"..one smile, then i'd die, only to be revived by you."

"..sana ako si Marvin, ikaw si Jolina"

"..I have been waiting for you all night under the glow of the satellite"

"Kailan ko masisilayan sa araw araw aking mahal.."

"..patungo sa pangakong paraiso"

"Pagdilat ikaw agad ang hinahanap sa umaga"

"At sabi mo malayo pang bukas tapos na ang kahapon ang mahalaga'y ngayon nandito ka ngayon.."

"There's only one thing on my mind, that's you and me."

"Think of me at the depth of your despair"

"Mga kulay ng mundo ay kumupas"

"Hear my thought in every note"

"Mga anak at bahay nating plinaplano"

"Nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na lalong mahulog sayo"

"Mahal na kita noong unang beses kong nakita.."

"Those three words.."

"..basta't may baon syang sariling buto.."

"..ninanais ko lang naman na maging ganap.."

"..ito ay alay ko sa'yo.."

An added bonus challenge! :) Can you guys identify from which songs these lines came from?

P.S. While doing this entry, I should probably do a list of my personal "walang tapon" OPM bands albums. Would most likely be fun to do. :)

Thinking Out Loud: 10-13-3

Why do you like someone?

Do you initially like them for how they look, or for what kind of person they are?

Do you believe in faith, destiny, and serendipity, or do you just think everything is just a big coincidence?

~

A lot of people kept telling me about this certain girl. That this girl is awesome. They tell me she's beautiful, but never had they managed to show me a picture of her. They didn't even described her. What they told me about her instead is more on the kind of person she is. They told me her name, and that she is one good person. That she is an intelligent person, and a graduate of a prestigious university. And some other things that I can't really remember. Bottom line, if you could get to like a person even before seeing a glimpse of them, this would be probably one of those cases. Not that I know a ton about the person they were talking about, but from what I have already heard, she sounds like one great woman.

I probably do like her. If not for one bit of detail.

I think I probably like another woman already.

See, I have this peculiar tendency to be loyal. I like the flavor of milk tea or ice cream that I first tasted. I tend to stay with the first group I am a part of in a particular stage of my life. I tend to only like one woman at a time.

So how would I get to like the woman I am being told about, if I probably like another woman? (Yeah, I tend to sometimes overthink this stuff.)

Funny thing is, I don't know a thing about this second girl. All I know is how she looks, as I've seen her plenty of times before. I don't even know her name! But what I do know is that I like how beautiful her hair is, how dazzling her eyes are, how charming her lips are, and how heart melting her smile is. When she speaks, it seems to have an enchanting and calming effect on me. She's just gorgeous and beautiful and pretty. And that may be an understatement.

Let's do a recap then shall we?

We have the first girl, whom I have no idea how she looks, at all, but I do have at least the smallest idea of what kind of person she is. I even know her name.

And then we have the second girl, who I get to see a lot, but I know nothing more about her. Not even her name.

Finally, we have me, yours truly, and my own sense of loyalty.

As funny (or sad, depending on how you look at things) as it is, I could never truly like either girl. I feel like I better have some sort of commitment (to myself) on who to like. So if you were in my place, who would you probably choose to like? The first or the second girl?

Luckily for me, I never had to make the choice.

They turned out to be the same girl.

:)

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Playing in the Background:

Kama Supra - Eraserheads - Cutterpillow
"Bat di ka na lang sumama? Hihiga tayo at kakanta."

Hanggang Kailan - Orange and Lemons - Strike Whilst The Iron Is Hot
"Nakakabalisa, knock on wood wag naman sana"

One Hit Combo - Parokya ni Edgar feat. Gloc 9
"Si Kiko kay Gloc at ang Heads sa Parokya"

Akin Ka Na Lang - Itchyworms - Noon Time Show
"Di naman sa sinisiraan ko ang pangit na yan, wag ka dapat sakin magduda, hinding hindi kita pababayaan."

What A Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy
"I have troubled thoughts, and the self esteem to match, what a catch.."

From The Vault:

Bakit ka pa mag gi-girlfriend, kung magbre-break lang din kayo?

I wrote this six years ago, and due to that, the title of this article is long lost. Interesting to look back at how my mind worked six years ago. So many have changed, yet a lot are still the same.

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It is no secret to anyone that I am a fool when it comes to love. It is also no surprise to anyone that I am single since birth. Not that I am complaining but still, I can’t escape questions from friends and families alike on why I am still single. I don’t know if this is normal or not, but, if ever I finally get to have a girlfriend, I want her to be the first and only girlfriend that I will ever have. I want her to be the one I would walk the aisle with. I want her to be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. But everyday knowledge would tell me otherwise.

Just think, how many married couples do you know would fit what is stated above? Personally, I don’t know of any. Plus we hear a lot of people say, “Masyado ka namang seryoso! enjoy mo lang”, or “Masyado ka pang bata”.

Now, that last statement is what I don’t understand the most. In my mind I am thinking, “Bakit ka pa mag gigirlfriend, kung maghihiwalay lang din pala kayo?” I mean, sure, the odds are that you would one day, face problems, deal with trials, and you and your girlfriend/boyfriend might not be able to sort things out and just decide to go on separate ways. BUT, shouldn’t that be some sort of warning? Getting in a relationship and facing problems, one should already be aware of that and be prepared about it. If you really love that person, then why give up? What is the sense of being in a relationship when you expect that it would end up in the two of you breaking up?

Some may say, “Akala ko kasi, ‘siya’ na.hindi pa pala”. Now, then my answer to that is, “Paano mo nalaman na hindi nga siya iyon?”

Just think of this situation; when someone comes into your life, and you love him/her, you would say “Siya na. Sa wakas dumating na ‘siya’”. But when the two of you break up, or hurt each other, more often than not, you would say “Hindi pa pala siya.”

You would say that over and over and over again, until you finally get married and finally say that your wife/husband is the one. But how sure can you be? Because you are together? Because you got married to each other? What if the two of you get divorced? Then he/she isn’t the one? How could you say that you have finally found him/her when you can so easily say that someone isn’t him/her just because things didn’t worked out? Don’t you think that that person could arrive in a less literal way? For that person to arrive to your life, it could be as simple as really loving that person, living your life with that person, understanding that person, coping up with his/her short comings, weathering the storm, suffering all the sufferings and still come out standing and smiling, and, just having trust and faith, not only to him/her, but also to Him.

Then again, people might say, “Bata ka pa, hindi mo pa alam sinasabi mo”, and I just won’t accept that. Sure, I never ever had a girlfriend before, but does that mean that I don’t have knowledge about those things? I never got into a relationship before, but I had experienced a lot of painful rejections, and each and every time, I learned something. Yes, I know that the odds are very small that your first and only girlfriend/boyfriend would be your partner for life. All the times that you would tell yourself, “Mahal ko pa ba siya?” and how many times you get to say yes, rather than say no, until the time that both of you would say the most significant ‘yes’ in your lives. Science, math, and the numbers are just all against me, but then again, science tells us that emotions are from the brain, and right they are, but why do people still insists on drawing hearts as a symbolism of love?

Maybe, just maybe, if a couple just really love each other, they might just beat the odds, and live happily ever after. But then again, I might just be saying this because I never had one. Still, when the time comes, I hope that what I had stated above would happen, and you can bet that I would do all I could to make it happen.

Thinking Out Loud: Proving Grounds

Why do you want to prove them wrong?

 It probably is a universal human experience; being doubted that is. I'm sure you all have experienced someone not believing in you. Someone thinking you could not achieve or do whatever it is that you aspire to do. Someone who does not have any faith in you doing anything, in you amounting to anything. And usually they end it with a condescending laugh.

..and they point at you. POINT AT YOU DAMN IT!

The usual response to such situations? Why of course we want to prove them wrong! Prove 'em all doubters wrong and make them eat there words. We do what we can, focus our time and energy and skills to achieve and do whatever we are told we cannot do. Can't pass the exam? Oh sure I can. You won't get accepted in the varsity team? The hell I would be! You can't achieve your dreams of being a big shot blogger with a three story home and a personal air conditioned bus? You can bet I can!

We would do almost absolutely anything just to make sure we can one day achieve what they have deemed as impossible, and for us to shove it, implicitly or otherwise, it to their faces. All the while our inner selves are applauding ourselves for an excellent job.

Are you sensing a trend here?

But what if I tell you that i've been thinking about this the past few days (yes of course you've been, jeez) and I came up with something. Here me out here now. How about, instead of proving your doubters wrong, you instead prove your believers correct?

Now don't give me that face. I know it sounds like the exact same thing just viewed in a different light. But that exactly is what I was going for. A change in the way you view things could, and would, have a very significant difference. I'm also not saying that those two are mutually exclusive. Others might be saying right now "Well duh, ofcourse when you prove your doubters wrong, you are proving your believers correct at the same time. It ain't rocket science dude!", to which I respectfully disagree. There IS a difference. Let me expound on this.

You know I just have to put this in here somewhere.

I'd like to believe that doubters doubt (and alligators alligate... sorry) because they look at you at a negative light. You're weak, you're fragile, you're too small, you're too big, too skinny, too fat, too slow, too timid, too aggressive, and so on. Believers on the other hand, look at you and see positive things. You are strong, you are a leader, you are inspiring, you are tall enough, you have this and that skills, etc. But it isn't as black and white as we would like to think.

Say someone said you are weak. You proved them wrong. What did you accomplished? You showed them that you are NOT weak. But did you show them that you are strong? Not at all times does it mean that since you are not weak, you are strong. If I may do some analogy with mathematics here; Not just because you are not a negative number means that you are a positive number. There is zero, which is neither positive or negative. Likewise, that is how I view this situation; there is always a middle ground. You just proven that you are not weak, but you have yet to prove that you are strong.

See, that is why I now prefer to prove people that believed me that they are right in believing in me. It may look and feel like the difference is nothing but semantics, but for me the difference of what it implies is significant.

Someone said you're too ugly to be a model? Don't prove them wrong.
Someone said you're beautiful and can be a model? Prove them correct.

They say you're too short to be a basketball player? Don't prove them wrong.
They say you have a future in basketball because you are fast and smart? Prove them correct.

People say that government officials are corrupt? Don't prove those people wrong.
People say that government officials can still provide sincere public service? Prove these people correct.

You've been constantly turned down by the girls you like? Don't vow that one day their decision to turn you down would be proven wrong.
Instead, vow that one day, you'll prove that the decision of the girl that finally loves you back is correct.


Might as well as end this one with a Simpsons reference. Homer could easily want to prove Mr. Burns wrong, but instead, he looks at it in a different way. A visual reference would be in order:

Playing in the Background:

"If you show you are weak, you've accepted defeat."
-A Call To Arms, Urbandub

"Alam natin ang tama, bakit di natin ginagawa?"
-Dapat Tama, Gloc 9

"Marami ang namamatay sa maling akala."
-Maling Akala, Eraserheads


"Ang aking lihim na pakay, ay ang lahat ng ito'y gawing tunay."
-Love Team, Itchyworms

Thinking Out Loud: Baby Names!

When I am doing nothing and just staring in the empty space, my mind wanders and thinks of various stuff. "How does my back look?" "Why is my heart beating so fast?" "What will I be eating tomorrow night?" "That flower doesn't look like a flower." "What would happen if it rained chocolate?" "That cloud looks like a dog with wings." "I'm sure there is a Gundam under the Sunken Garden." "What would I name my kids?"

..and then I sometimes stop at a certain question or statement and take a longer time thinking about it. Like say, "Why would I name my kids?"

Yes, I have already thought what to name my future babies.

Babies!

I would like to have a lot of kids, ideally six (but really, 4 to 8 would be fine). Three boys and three girls. Of course, all of this would happen, maybe 8-10 years in the future. Likewise, all of these would depend greatly on my future-wife-whoever-she-may-be. But hey, it wouldn't hurt to have a "thought exercise" like this every now and then. Plus, it's babies!

Babies!

Okay, so let's start! There would be three boys, and three girls. My first born would be a boy, then a girl, and the pattern continues until the 6th baby.

Babie...eh ain't they cute?