Bookmark: Shooting Star

I've got a dilemma at hand. 

I was flying though outer space, just doing my usual routine of checking the stars, searching for that one star that would make all other stars pale in comparison. That's when I saw it.  To most, they'll notice its corona, which to tell the truth is indeed very beautiful. But what I saw was beyond that. I saw all through out to its core, and with that I knew that I have found the star that I am looking for. That star that would shine the brightest. I thought it was impossible to do so, but lo and behold I was wrong. Here it is, in front of me. At that moment I knew, I couldn't afford to lose this star. 

But this is not a normal star, at least not at that moment. There seems to be something wrong with it, no, there is definitely something not right with it. My instruments indicate that it should be shining much brighter at the moment, but it is not. I decided that I'd do everything to make sure that this star's brightness returns.

And here is where my dilemma lies.

This star seemed to have decided that the only way for its brightness to return is to fly far away.

I know that I would do anything for it to shine as bright as ever, but on the other hand, I don't want this star to fly away.

I refuse to believe that to go away is the only way to regain its brightness. I feel like going away is just running away from whatever this star isn't shining as bright as it should be, that it is nothing but a band aid solution. Or maybe that is just me not wanting it to go.

I don't want this star to go because it scares me. It scares the hell out of me because I feel like once it goes, then that's it. I recognize that I just found this star. So if you go, then this star would have much reason to come back to where I am right now.

But at the same time, since I just found you, who the hell am I to demand, or even request for this star to stay? What right do I have to do so? Why should my opinion even matter?

Who am I to oppose what this star would want to do? Heck, others would even say that if I meant doing everything for its brightness to return, then I should even be the first one to support the star's decision to go.

Why not follow the star? Oh if only it was that simple. See, my space craft is currently docked in this station near the star, and so following it isn't much of an option right now.

Why not keep an eye on the star once it goes away? You probably know how vast the universe is. Once it goes far away from me, I don't even know if I can maintain contact with it. Not to mention that I'm not the only one looking for such stars. 

I've always said that this journey was never about me, but about founding that star. That I want you to find that star and make it shine the brightest. and that is true. So why am i feeling this way? 

Maybe because I believe and know that while I want this star to burn very brightly, I know that it would burn the brightest with me. Big statement, I know. If this star could talk, it might even get irritated at me for making such assuming statements. However I still believe in that, and I can only hope that one day I can make that star say that "I believe in that too", assuming this star could talk, that is. But in the end, it seems like all I can do is to wish.

To wish that I can say don't go.

To wish that this star won't go.

To wish that this star would stay.

- - - - - - - - - - 

Playing on the Background:

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do.."
-Yellow, Coldplay

"..'cause you're my star, invisible, haunting, and far.."
-Synesthesia, Mayonnaise

"..Stars are falling down from heaven, but it's nowhere near our town.."
-Fruitcake, Eraserheads.