[author's note: This was written almost a year ago. But I decided to hold back posting this just to make sure if I still think the same way about this subject a year later. And since I do, here I am posting this.]
"Why is that your dream?"
What is your dream? Is it to be a doctor? Or maybe a lawyer? Perhaps to one day become an engineer? or be a stunning model, or roam the skies as a pilot?
Whatever your dream may be, have you ever thought why you have that dream? Maybe you already had. Maybe not. But in each and every case, we have our own reasons behind these dreams.
But here's the catch. I feel like I don't have any of these dreams. I'm about to graduate in a few months, and some of batch mates have already talked about what they aim to do after graduating. A lot of them are thinking of pursuing law. Some have very specific goals, like to eventually enter the Department of Foreign Affairs or the Department of Education and end up with a high position in those said departments. Some of my other friends are going to pursue Medicine, while others are bound for other countries to either work or study more, all of those being part of what they dream to achieve.
Me? Wala! It's like all I want to do is to have a job after graduating, and I don't even have a specific agency or company that I wish to enter (to be fair, I do hope to enter the Presidential Management Staff). It's not like I don't have a plan for myself. I do. Maybe it is not just crystal clear at the moment, but I do. Nonetheless, it makes me feel like i'm inferior to the others. Others are on the road to becoming lawyers, or Secretary of the Department of Education. Me? I'm just hoping to land a job.
I've been thinking about this for weeks and weeks now, until it finally dawned on me. I do have a dream!
My dream is to have a great family, to be the husband my future wife dreams of, to be the father that my future kids would be very proud of, the husband and father that my parents molded me to be.
Cheesy much?
Okay, maybe some of you are saying right now "Hey! Lahat naman tayo gusto ng masayang pamilya!"
But the difference is (at least for me), for as long as I remember, that has been my dream. My actions have been towards aiming that goal. Some people would like to, say, be a lawyer first, THEN go towards that dream of a great family. So naturally, they'll prepare to be a lawyer first. They study to get good grades, get in to law school, and the like.
Me? I've been gearing myself towards being a great family guy. Everything I've been doing has been towards that goal. I'm learning how to do household chores, how to fix things at the house, how to cook, how to wash clothes and how to iron them. I've been budgeting, and saving money (and this is serious. For the past few years, as little as it may be, i've been saving up for things that I probably have to buy a decade later). I'm trying to learn how to take care of kids, how to make decisions, and to know how to prioritize. All those sort of things!
While I do prefer now to have a job here in Manila, I prefer to eventually end up having a job in Bataan, which is where I hope to settle down with my family. (Seriously, life in Bataan is awesome guys!). I'm planning to earn a Masters Degree since I need that to be promoted and earn a better pay. Plus, this goes hand-in-hand with my desire to serve the country in whatever way I could. The higher up I am, the more impact I could potentially have in helping the country.
All of these is for that dream. A dream of a simple, but very happy family. A family that takes away your stress once you get home. A family na kahit wala ng matira sa iyo, basta meron sila, okay lang. A family that will give sense to everything that you've been through. You might be saying that I'm still too young to be saying such things, that I should be enjoying my single life first. But maybe I already had enjoy my single life. Maybe, just maybe, since this is my dream, I'd even have a better time once I have achieved this dream. A great time unimaginable and incomparable to what I may have while I am a single guy.
That is my dream. The dream which potentially might be the reason why I am so critical of my love life ever since. Paano ka nga naman magkakaroon ng pamilya kung wala kang asawa?
In addition to my dream of a great family, i'm dreaming of making my future girlfriend/wife the happiest girlfriend/wife that she could be.
I'd always look for new ways to make her smile and touch her heart. I'd write her letters and poems, each one containing a part of me. I would always believe in her, and make her feel how special and amazing she is, how she is my favorite person in the whole world. We'd go on adventures, both planned and unplanned, and make memories that we would last forever, or at least until our brain cells allow. I'd understand her, because I know she'll understand me too. We would not be perfect, it wouldn't be a perfect harmony at all times. There would be times that we might have misunderstanding, hard times, but the thing is I wouldn't let it take us down. I'd remember the little details about us, where we first met, the first food we shared together, the song playing in the background when we first went out of town. I'd be the man that'll make sure that she is happy. Sure, she may be happy with someone else, but she'll be most happy with me. And I have this feeling that it'll never easy. It's never easy. But that's fine by me. I'll fight for her. And that is coming from a man who doesn't just always fight for anything. I'll fight for her because I know she is someone worth fighting for. Because she would be someone whom I would feel I am destined to be together. Because in the end, it is not just about me really, it is about her.
That is my dream. My dream is her. My dream is our family.
Cheesy much?
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