Why?
This is probably the question that most people dislike among the 5Ws and 1H. Ask me the who, what, when, where, and how, just don’t ask me the why. Why? (ha!) Most probably because it requires the most effort, and let’s be honest here, if we can be kings and queens without exerting a drop of effort, all of us would be fine with that. Yet, I loved asking why.
I was a curious boy ever since. That is probably the first trait of mine that I remember so vividly. I keep on asking why. I keep on wanting to explore the world for answers. Among all questions, those seeking for reasons intrigued me the most. While I enjoyed learning about who did what, or how things worked, what piqued my interest the most was why things happen, why things work, why things exist. Bakit one plus one equals two? Bakit lalabas yung lamig pag iniwan nakabukas yung pinto sa aircon na kwarto? Bakit nag ibang bansa pa si Rizal? Bakit nag break-up yung Eraserheads? Bakit nakahubad si Oble? Bakit masakit makaapak ng lego? Bakit?
That questioned stayed with me as I grew older. I kept on asking why. Heck, the original name of this blog was “The Bakitlist”. It wouldn’t be outrageous to say that my life one way or the other revolved around the question why. Most of the time, I was able to find the answers.
" It wouldn’t be outrageous to say that my life, one way or the other, revolved around the question why."
Books became a reliable ally. Our home had one little room filled with all kinds of books, from trivia books to encyclopaedias. Why does it rain? Open the book about science. Why do firemen wear red? Get me that book about firemen and their history.
Then, the internet arrived and it felt like a blessing from the skies. It’s like having a million books at my fingertips! Why do people think that the moon landings were faked? Click! Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Click search! Why do ostrich bury their head in the sand? They don’t but I’m feeling luck so click!
Finally, smart phones bursts to the scene and it is nothing but the greatest invention ever. Now I can answer my why questions anywhere, anytime! I was getting the answers for all but a few whys. At this point, you are probably asking, why am I saying all of these?
Every now and then, I ask a few close friends of mine the question – “What does it feel like to meet or realize that you have finally met ‘The One’?” Cheesy question, I know, but the answers, while very varied, are just all equally amazing and sweet.
“Feels like going home and your dog waiting for you at home, only this dog loves playing DOTA”, as one of them puts it. Another one says, “It’s like riding a roller coaster.”, while one gives a heartfelt answer of “It’s like realizing you now have something you can’t afford to lose.” One way or the other, there answers reflected a part of who they are: from a dog lover, to a thrill seeker, to someone who’s just really clingy (in a good way!).
I ask those questions because I’ve always been curious as to that particular peculiar feeling. Who makes you feel that why? How does it feel? What does it feel like? Why does it make you feel as such? My soon to be 27 year young life has yet to find any semblance of answer to this question. But if you were to point a gun to my head and ask me to think of how I’d feel – my answers probably would be the following: enlightened, relieved, thankful.
It bugs me that I can’t answer some of the questions lingering in my mind. I recognize that I can’t learn and understand everything, especially those dealing with the more complex stuff the world has to offer. I’d be fine with my questions not being answered in those instances – what irate me the most are questions about myself that I can’t seem to answer. Bakit ako nagsisipag? Bakit ako nag-aaral? Bakit ko pinagbubutihan? Bakit biglaan? Bakit ba kailangan? Bakit nararamdaman? Bakit ako? Bakit hindi ako? Bakit hindi na lang ako?
I never can’t seem to understand why I am doing what I am doing with my life at certain points of it. I look around a number of my friends and I can see why they are doing what they are doing – because they want to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or to start their own company. But what about me? Why am I doing all of these?
This is where finally meeting her comes into play. I’d feel enlightened looking at her as I finally know why I have worked so hard all the years. I would feel relieved as my hands hold hers as I finally get the answer why no other hand fit mine. Thankful I would be as her head lies on my shoulder and I finally get to answer why I was made to wait and prepare myself all these years. It would be among the greatest feeling I would ever feel.
Why?
Because I’ve finally met my life, and the answer to my penultimate why.
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#NowPlaying
Bakit Pt. 1 – Mayonnaise
Bakit Pt. 2 (2014 Version) – Mayonnaise
Why – Avril Lavigne
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